Pieces
by bella-chan16
Summary: She stiff and cold and distant and Jim can't wait to crack her open. Pairings inside. Rated for language and violence.
1. Prologue: Who We Are

**I am writing this because I couldn't get the story line out of my head. And it's the only thing that's inspired me in a while. So there may be possible Bones/OFC but that depends on how the story progresses. Also this chapter is something like a back story to my OFC Talla. **

**Pairings: Jim/Anything-with-a-pulse, Spock/Uhura, (Eventual)-Sulu/Chekov, Scotch/Scotty/The-Enterprise, and Present-(this chapter)/Past-OFC/OFC.**

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**Prologue****: Who We Are**

Shen' can guarantee that the only reason this monstrosity was alive was because it was his wife's, his bond, dying wish. And he never could deny her anything, even when it's to spare the life of the abomination that took her's, so it lives. Shen' has no doubt that this will be the thing that leads to his downfall.

He has no clue how right he is.

**XOXOXOX**

Talla is three but she's not stupid. She sees the way adults look at her. She hears the whispers, things like _"Monster"_ and _"Warrior"_. She doesn't know what they mean but she does know that it's bad. That they hate her for it. The amount of guards assures her that there are people who want to kill her. And the constant drills in loyalty tell her that there are also people who wish to use her. She doesn't say anything though.

Her silence guarantees her life.

**XOXOXOX**

When Talla P'Trell and Shelerib Endilev meet they are five. Under normal circumstance people would go out of their way to ensure they don't meet (Talla knows this) but Sir P'Trell is an important politician and the Endilev family, a family of nobility, is having a ball and want the family of business partners there. So they meet.

Talla steps forward and kisses Shelerib's hand with manners and grace that people three times her age would envy if it wasn't for what she was.

"_Talla…Tall."_

Talla's straight and rigid at her name, because no one knows her name. She doesn't exist; she's a non-entity, or a monster.

Shelerib's unnaturally dark hair slightly fans the pale blue tinged skin their people are famed for. Then her matching eyes crinkle as she smiles, slight baby fat bunching. She's speaks her next words so softly that Talla can only just pick them up under the ball's music.

"_My bond."_

**XOXOXOX**

The two sneak around after this. They tell no one of their bond and the only people who see them together are Shel's elder brother Keval and the strange boy named Thelin, who wanders around Shel's home.

Neither one is stupid, Tall shows promise in becoming a master at battle strategies and aside from her extraordinary medical skills Shel's also a prodigy at the mental art that few ever master. (It's how she knew Tall's name and that she was her bond). So they both know that them being together would be frowned upon or used for political means.

They know that once they go to public school they can interact as friends but they have a year before then and can't wait. So they use the times they sneak out wisely. They learn about each other. Tall tells Shel she's a warrior, a sub-race who does all the fighting on the normally pacifist planet of Narza, (though both know that she already knew this) and Shel tells Tall that Keval is one too and that's why he's home schooled. Tall understands, warriors are viewed poorly, they are seen as barbaric and monsters. One couldn't possibly be (publicly) allowed in an ancient and noble family such as the Endilev's. Women warriors are even worse in how they are treated because, historically, they are more brutal in their behavior then men.

But the serious topics of learning about each other aren't the only things they do; they are only five after all. They play together and prank Tall's many guards. It's their special time just for them and neither one would ever believe that they'd ever really share it with another person.

They're right.

**XOXOXOX**

Tall remembers her first real fight (despite the training warriors get their spars don't get really brutal till they're ten). It's this stupid little girl who says she's a boy, Thoris th'Zarath was her (his) name. She (he) was saying something insulting to Shel' and Tall couldn't help herself. When blood is spilt on her she feels a thrill run though her. Tall's never actually made someone bleed before (because her fighting style used the enemy's power against themselves and exhausts them due to her higher endurance) and it causes her to wonder if it would feel like this to make a kill. And, after an upper-cut she decides to try. Tall's all aimed to hit just to the left of the thyroid cartilage of the larynx, a weak point of her people. But Shel' stops her with one word.

"_Talla."_

And her hand stops because she doesn't want to become a monster. She wants to be good enough for Shel'. And she will be.

**XOXOXOX**

Thoris is welcomed into their fold after this. Shel' has taken a liking to the…boy.

He says: _"I don't want to be at anyone's mercy or rely on the warriors to save me."_

Talla can respect him for that and shows him some pointers on basic defense. They soon find out that 'Ris is a great engineer and so Tall and Shel' recruit him for their pranks. It certainly adds a flare to them. And it drives their teachers insane when they try to link it back to them just to never get enough evidence.

**XOXOXOX**

One day, a dead opponent's mother finally has the sense to ask Talla P'Trell a simple, straight-forward question: _"Why the hell are you doing this?"_

Talla's response is equally simple and straight-forward: _"Because it's what I live for!"_

She has no idea how right she is.

**XOXOXOX**

The night that Talla P'Trell was born was, coincidentally, almost the night that she died.

The only reason she is alive today – the only reason civilian or independently acting _warriors _didn't _kill her_ when she was a little girl – is because for the first four years of her life she had RCSS watching her every move and keeping her in good health. (And preaching about loyalty.) Afterwards they gave her guards under ruse of being Shen' T'Prell's daughter. Even though ten assassination attempts _were_ made, they were always rebels with nothing to lose and nothing to gain. Nakka's first kills as an RCSS member, and Kazeca's _last_ kills as an RCSS captain, were fellow RCSSs and warriors.

The key reason that most people backed off was simple: Shen' convinced them that this girl was meant to become a weapon. He didn't believe this himself, neither did the people after a time, but Talla P'Trell was left alive to be Narza's weapon.

So she says her words: _"Because it's what I live for!"_, without knowing that she speaks a truth that would shame almost all of Narza if it were ever told to the children of the generation that wanted her dead.

**XOXOXOX**

Keval hates Talla. He hates her more than anyone should hate another member of their own town, and if given the chance, he would gladly murder Talla in cold blood, lick said blood off of his fingers and then throw the body into the street while chanting: _'DING, DONG! THE BITCH IS DEAD!'_

In reality, the two have no prior hostility. What makes Keval hate her so deeply is nothing to do with a personal insult of any sort.

It's for much the same reason he hates his sister. She's _normal_. She can live a normal life.

And he never can.

There she is, Talla, a warrior. And yet she gets respect, grudgingly but she still gets it. She has a bond with Shel' – he knows, he's not stupid like people seem to think – and that is unheard of for a warrior. She smiles and laughs and has a friend in a way he never will. She's the only female warrior in history who didn't go insane by the age of seven or get murdered for her power.

And then there is him, Kev', who's always on the edge of sanity and despite his family's legend he is looked down upon by even the servants, and he knows why. His mother cheated on his 'Father' with a random warrior and created him, so he's not even supposed to be the heir and is only handed this role to keep up appearances. And he can't go to real school because it might get out what he is. So he has no friends except Thelin. And he knows something isn't right with the older boy, and so he always has to make sure to step lightly around him.

So when Talla passes him in the halls of his house and nods her head in that way that says: _My life is going great, what about yours?_ It's all Kev' can do not to snap her neck.

**XOXOXOX**

Talla and Shel' have welcomed others into their group. Jhamal Felzan, the class scientist, and Gareb Menza'ka, a metal smith who specializes with swords. Both fit into their group of odd-balls well. Jhamal is the only female scientist in four generations and Gareb specializes in swords on a mostly pacifist planet. Neither one fit well any were else and both are happy to find a place to go. 'Hamal is even studying on how she and Shel' can do 'Ris's sex change surgery themselves.

Tall and Shel' are also being more open with the depth of their relationship now that they are twelve, just the little things like holding hands and kisses on the cheek, but they still run into problems for it. And both realize that they will need strong allies if they wish to survive, and though it takes them a while to realize it, that is another thing they have found in their friends.

**XOXOXOX**

Talla and her friends are like chess pieces. They don't realize it yet but they will.

Shelerib is the King. Not extraordinary powerful but still important. The reason for the others existence and what they fight to protect. Because, honestly, none of them would have come together if it wasn't for her.

Talla is the Queen. The power house and the one closest to the King, who her existence relies on most heavily. She leads her men with no fear and they follow quickly because they know that if anyone can guarantee their safety it is her.

Thoris plays a rook. The first in the King and Queen's fold and the wall that is in-between the others and their attackers. He will defend his King and Queen till he is nothing more than dust in the wind. And that is why he is most trusted by Tall and Shel'.

Jhamal is a bishop. Simple but important, she creates paths that the others may never see without her. And she relishes her role more than anyone on the board.

And finally Gareb. A knight for the front line. He's not vengeful or cruel but his attacks have the fineness needed to play the knight. And his loyalty will know no bounds.

No one outside of them ever realizes this because no one really looks to see the interaction. It would benefit some people greatly if they had.

**XOXOXOX**

When Talla first meets Thelin she's cautious. The boy is nice enough, although his people skills do leave a lot to be desired. But he makes her skin crawl in a way that's not normal. So through some spying by Shel' and research by 'Hamal they find out why. He is not a warrior like they were all led to believe. He is a sword breaker. He exists to kill any and all warriors who turn on the government and any other normal person. His single reason for living is to kill her.

So Talla should hate him for watching her but she can't really bring herself to. Because he is really quite pathetic with the fact he has no friends. So Talla and Shel' try to get to know him and he slowly enters their fold. He plays the role of the other knight and spy because the RCSS will always trust their sword breaker.

**XOXOXOX**

Among the Royal Courts Secret Studies, there exists a boy.

In the present day, he refers to himself as Thelin. To date, he is the only sword breaker ever born into the RCSS, and although he doesn't really care, he will always have a lifelong mission.

If any warrior ever loses control, Thelin is the one who is supposed to kill them. His most important missions involve Talla and Keval. They are the most dangerous warriors in existence and so he trains every day to be able to complete his missions. He is a sword breaker after all; a weapon designed to break other weapons into pieces. It is by this logic that he lives, and it is by this logic that he has turned his tremendous strength into a means for killing his enemies.

However, Talla is not a weapon. She can't be, simply because she looks more artistic than anything Thelin has ever seen drawn in his life. A sword breaker is of little use for trying to destroy artwork.

When Thelin finally realizes this, he doesn't know why, but he thinks of tearing out each and every member of the RCSS's eyes and jamming his fingers through the sockets.

**XOXOXOX**

First kills are, by their very nature, inherently destructive to both the murderer and the murdered. Warriors don't show this quite so much as normal people; there is rarely any vomiting, crying or emotional turmoil in the aftermath. If a warrior is lucky, the most they'll have is an empty kind of brooding.

Among Talla's generation, first kills are unusual for many reasons. They are more violent, more dramatic; the aftermaths are more intense and the effects more apparent years after the fact. It's also the first sword breaker and civilian kills to happen in over a century.

Thoris th'Zarath's first kill, thirteen years old, was the most surreal for a lot of reasons, but the only one that matters is that he was _in his victim's body_ at the time (after Shel' he is the most advance in mental arts). He has never forgotten the sensation of stabbing himself in the neck with a knife, and he never will. It's part of why he prefers clothing with a high collar. Shelerib Endilev's first kill was when she was fourteen years old, while most think of her as passive and gentle she has a fire in her heart that burns deep. So when she heard a man planning Talla's death she snuck up behind him hypoed him in to paralyzation and proceeded to strangle him. The feeling of him losing his breath beneath her fingers is something she'll never forget. She hasn't forgiven herself for it since, but she also thinks that her and 'Ris's first kills were karmic retributions for the fact that they always made Talla do the dirty work.

Talla's first kill(s) came when she was nine, sparing with other warriors in her year. A doge of a knife had caused it to nick Shel's face. Talla murdered every single warrior she could get her hands on, all of the ones in her generation. She stopped eating for the better part of a week, (still doesn't eat a healthy amount, even now) and years later, she has developed a habit of randomly scrubbing herself raw in the sonic shower and bleaching her clothes solid white when doing hand washed laundry. It not because she feels guilty, not quite, what haunts her is the fact she killed people who were children in a way she never was and never would be.

The first kills for Jhamal Felzan and Gareb Menza'ka were more detached but just as brutal. Each of them was twelve and experimenting with new ideas, each involving open flames. The fire got out of control and together they killed over three hundred people. Jhamal spent the better part of a week telling herself that sacrifices are needed for scientific advances and while she never did believe it herself she was able to get back to work. Gareb didn't do _anything_ for a good three weeks till Talla demanded that he fashion her a set of nail claws. He doesn't think he was ever more thankful for her blunt and bull-headed nature.

Thelin's first kill is something he can't quite remember for the simple reason that he was drunk at the time. The truth is that he struck a warrior who had been annoying him across the face and tore off the front of his skull. And while he can't really _remember it_ when awake, the memories do occasionally come back when he's sleeping; more so, now that he's become close to Talla and her friends. In dreams, he sees her white hair, blue skin, and green eyes, and when he wakes up screaming, it's because he honestly thinks he's just killed Talla.

Keval Endilev's first kill comes about in a training spar with one of his family's foot soldiers. It's dark, and his enemy wears a mask so something about it is utterly impersonal, but Keval kills the man – at least he _thinks_ it was a man – with a punch through the collar and into a stone wall behind him. For a few seconds, he stands still with a corpse nailed to the wall thanks to his arm running through it, then finally pulls out to watch it slump to the floor. While it should be a momentous occasion for him, he feels nothing but a hollow in his chest and the eerie wondering about whether or not his biological father's first kill was similar to his own.

Then he remembers that, _that man_ had apparently made his first kill at seven years old. Keval's was at thirteen. Somehow, that simple realization that he held onto his humanity longer makes it all okay.

**XOXOXOX**

Of all of Narza's warriors from Shiza'ka to Nakka, there are certain factors that no-one has ever really noticed. It can only be seen in battle, and while rules say that all warriors must see the underneath, no-one ever says anything about looking _next_ to it. It's one of those minor details that no-one will notice unless they're watching from the sidelines, and even then, it's a realization that's quickly, quietly forgotten, just like the warriors, and the good they do, themselves.

The factors are solid, and no matter how much each warrior unwittingly tries to avoid them, they are inescapable.

The sadist battles with their mind, whether they're truly one or just one in name. The sword breaker battles with their soul, whether they are merciful, vengeful or just doing their job. The hard worker battles with their heart, whether it is tainted black or as pure as the falling snow.

Keval Endilev likes to think that he thrives in battle, but he doesn't. Although no-one seems to _realize it_, he spends too much time thinking. This is why he knew to fear Thelin, why he will telegraph his moves to Talla and why he eventually goes mad enough to try to strike a deal for power and kill his sister. Even in a fight, where life and death are determined by split seconds, he _thinks _through his every step.

Thelin likes to think that he doesn't belong in battle, but he does and he knows it. That's why, when he hits someone hard enough to rip their face off, he's biting back a smile that would put the fear of God into an atheist. His spirit, seemingly unbreakable but kind and gentle, is the greatest source of strength he has. Gareb learns this firsthand, and he dies with a smile all his own, hoping, one day Thelin's spirit won't have to be sacrificed for another victim of ignorant ruthlessness but for, perhaps, the strong Queen that he himself follows to the death.

Talla P'Trell _lives_ in battle. Every single day is a new fight for her; be it a fight for life, pride, sanity, right or wrong. Where Keval mistakenly believes he belongs in battle and Thelin is in an odd state of partial denial, Talla is past that, she lives, breathes, eats and sleeps combat. It is the only place where she can truly lift the mask and show her face to those she confronts; she transforms from the blank face child to a magnificent warrior before the eyes of anyone watching. Few would admit it, but when she is stained in blood, surrounded by enemy warriors and smiling like the very demon everyone claims her to be, Talla is more beautiful than any weapon should be.

**XOXOXOX**

There are times when Jhamal wonders whether she should be jealous or not. She is in the fold, valued and liked, but still, even there, she is separate.

Talla and Shel' are the obvious ones to be jealous of. Their bond is impenetrable no matter who you are or how close you get you will never really walk with them. Beside them, yes that is what everyone in the fold does. In front of them, only the enemy goes there. Behind them, that is where everyone else goes; they don't care about you or view you as a threat. But no one will ever walk with them but each other.

But they are not the only ones. There is Thoris and Gareb as well. Their relationship is nothing like Tall's and Shel's but she's still excluded because it's a guy's relationship (Thoris surgery has been completed). And that's something, that as a woman, she will never be able to understand.

And so she wonders whether or not she should be jealous that everyone in the fold found a tight safe relationship but her and that now, even while surrounded by friends, she is alone.

**XOXOXOX**

Thelin is the closest thing anyone of the fold has to a father.

Gareb and Thoris were raised by a single mother; former geniuses in their chosen fields who retired due to becoming pregnant while being completely smashed. Both mothers are looked down upon because of that. This is why they want to become famous in their fields, on the same level as legendary people who have been placed in their text books.

Jhamal is an orphan. Her father, a man of nobility, died to save her mother. And it was in vain because her mother, nothing more than a simple commoner, was murdered mere minutes later.

And when asked about their own family situation, Talla and Shel' both just have an odd way of smiling and changing the subject. Nobody has ever pressed them about it, because the smiles they make don't reach their eyes and no one really wants to know what caused it.

So, in his own way, Thelin has become their father. He scares 'Hamal's boyfriends – and when Thelin wants to genuinely _frighten_ someone, he is alarmingly good at it – and when she can't stand being at the public orphanage, Thelin is the one she lives with for weeks on end. And he gives Gareb and Thoris a source of male encouragement to reach for their dreams. He gives Talla an unbreakable source of optimism to counter the gloomy nature of most of the life she's had since she was born. To Shel', Thelini is more than a stand-in. He _is_ a father. Their relationship is close enough that even Talla privately envies it at times.

So when Thelin says something stupid and insensitive, and when he intrudes upon their personal lives, weirds out the people who might otherwise be their friends, and allies, and generally makes life _interesting_ in ways they didn't intend, none of the fold faults him.

They love him for it.

And that is all the reward he needs.

**XOXOXOX**

When Keval goes to Talla at her seventeenth year he intends to strike a deal. It's meant to get him the power he desires but she turns him away. There is no second glance or pause at his threats because she does not view him as an opponent.

And he plans to get her back for that.

He goes after his sister, Shel', Talla's entire world. He makes her death slow and painful till near the end when he gets mad at her lack of screaming.

When the funeral happens he is giving Talla a very pointed look and he can see her make the connection.

Two days later Talla's at his door, he privately wonders what took so long, and they fight. Keval telegraphs his every move to Talla. And to a spectator it's almost as if he wanted to die. But even as he's dying in a brutal painful way, Keval is proud of himself for getting this reaction from someone who didn't see him as an opponent.

**XOXOXOX**

The reason it took Talla two days to get to Kavel is because she went to the Royal Court to inform them of Kavel breaking the warrior's most basic rule. But they brush her off telling her that Kavel is not a warrior and that they had more pressing matter then to find the person who murdered her bond.

And it's then that Talla realizes that they care more about their reputation then another person's life. And so, after slaughtering Kavel, she stares at her bed room wall and decides that she will destroy her planet's, so called, government.

**XOXOXOX**

Talla is under the impression that she is the only person alive who know the full story of what happened with the Endilev's youngest generation.

She's wrong.

Thelin follows her. If only so he doesn't spike suspicion among the RCSS. So he was there for the deal. He was there to see the look. And he listened quietly as Talla destroyed the man who took everything from her.

He'll never tell her though.

**XOXOXOX**

A month after Shel's death Talla showed up on Gareb's door and _told_ him to make her a pair of twin swords.

Gareb doesn't ask what they're for, he knows her too well and he'd like to keep plausible deniability if things came to pass.

He gives her a traditional sword and a flip one to hide in the side-pocket of her fight uniform that he designs for her.

In retrospect he shouldn't be surprised when Thelin shows up on his door step the day after he presented Tall with the swords and uniform. But he is until Thelin makes a statement: _"I'm sorry."_

So 'Reb asks a simple question: _"And Tall?"_

"_There are no rules against her owning it."_

And 'Reb smiles at the use of a loop hole to keep their Queen alive. He really hopes 'Lin can help her with what she has planned.

**XOXOXOX**

A year later, when Jhamal comes home to her run down flat she says nothing to Talla, who is still rotating between martial arts practice and strategies, or to Thoris, whose hunch over a new piece of god only knows what. Instead she walks past them to her own station of chemicals and gets to work. Thelin will come by soon to give Talla pointers on how to use her speed and endurance against opponents who are always going to be stronger than her and then he will leave to continue his spy work for them. They all still care for each deeply but each one wants their revenge enough to put touchy feely-ness on hold.

**XOXOXOX**

Talla isn't surprised at her assignment to the foreign ship. In fact it's a good thing. It will let her work on her plan without any possible RCSS spies watching. So even if the Captain and CMO don't look happy to see her and the First Officer doesn't look much of anything she still accepts the mission. After all she can keep in touch with 'Hamal 'Ris and 'Lin through their comms.

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**OK, I didn't send this to my beta for two reasons, one: she might do Star Trek and two: I feel bad for already sending her a butt load of my Criminal Minds story, so if you see any big grammatical or spelling errors (or _ANY_ cannon issues) please inform me so I can fix it.**

**I hope you all like it so fair, and I'm working on chapter 2. Also updates themselves may be slow because of school, really, I mean, who give Econ at 7:00 in the morning, like I'm gonna be awake and paying attention for _THAT_, out of their minds. And along with my seven difficult, two collage level, high school classes I have two online classes, so I'm really busy now. Again, I'm very sorry.**


	2. Chapter 1: Don't Trust Me

**Chapter 1: Don't Trust Me**

Kirk was furious! Now, normally, he'd be happy to have a new crew member and, despite her slight scrawniness and Spock-like range of expressions, she was attractive, which meant a very happy captain...usually. But damn the Federation for forcing her on them. They had to take her as a show of faith to a newly designated Federation plant. Of course considering some of the looks that his new…crew member had been receiving, her home plant probably just wanted to get rid of her. So he more then likely got stuck with some newbie who didn't know the first thing about a spacecraft. He sighed; he really shouldn't have been surprised though, there were a lot of people who were unhappy with his advancement to captain.

"Captain."

Kirk turned and smiled at his first officer. "Yeah Mr. Spock?"

"I believe that Miss P'Trell is in need of her inoculations and her physical from the Doctor. He should be prepared by now."

"Huh? Oh, yeah." McCoy had excused himself the moment they retuned to the ship so he was probably ready for her. He gave Spock a quick slap on the arm. "Well, come on, we've got to go get her. You think she's done moving her stuff into her new room?"

"That would be the logical assumption, as she stated that the bag she was caring was all the belonging she was bring with her."

Kirk huffed a little, nodding his head. It had been kinda disgruntling to see her genuine surprise at the idea of having more belongings.

When they got to P'Trell's room they were surprised to see the door opened and P'Trell standing there waiting for them.

Kirk shot a glance over the girl's shoulder and saw that her room was almost empty. She had a few hygiene products placed next to two swords and what seemed to be a purple uniform of some kind. He caught sight of a one dimensional chess board (and how old fashion can you get) with a broken king and knight on the white's side. But what really got his attention was a group of photos and a single girl that was in all but the last. But before he could guess of how she was related to the odd woman, the door slid shut.

"I have finished moving in, Sir. When do you suppose I will acquire my uniform?" Her voice was respectful but crisp. As though she did not appreciate Kirk being noisy with her room. And she didn't, it felt as though she was being violated.

"Right." He said quickly, ""We'll get your uniform while you get checked out by Bones, 'Kay?"

There was a pause as the woman turned to him, her face creased in confusion. "We? Bones?"

For the first time in P'Trell's presence Spock spoke up, "'We' is an insinuation of myself and the Captain, and 'Bones' is a nickname for our CMO, Doctor McCoy."

"Ah," was all they got from the girl. "Is there any reason why the first officer must accompany the Captain on a simple Doctors visit?"

Spock nodded his head to question and began leading the way to the sickbay with Kirk and P'Trell in tow before speaking up. "Well, Miss P'Trell, your home planet, Narza, and the Federation have a tense relationship. And despite their agreement to join the Federation there are still fractions who would seek to harm us. It would therefore be illogical to present you with the opportunity to do harm unto our Captain until we can be more sure of who side you are on."

Kirk opened his mouth to protest and keep any possible problems from arising when he cut off by the girl's (surprising) answer.

"That is a very logical answer," she sounded almost as if she was cracking a joke, "and entirely understandable, especially with your Captain being the saver of the Federation. And, although I applaud your honesty, as a tactical adviser I can't help what you hope to gain by saying the truth. Also, call me Talla."

Neither Spock nor Kirk could say that they were expecting this but they would take it in stride.

"Well, Miss Talla," Talla made a face but shrugged, "I have found, in my personal experience, that, when dealing with humans and humanoid life-forms, honesty is the best policy. And I am Vulcan so I can't lie."

She hummed, nodding her head but she didn't make a comment so the rest of their walk was silent.

When Spock opened up sickbay door they heard a load _Damn it_ and Kirk ran it to the room to see McCoy nearly pulling out his hair.

"Bones, what's up?"

The doctor ignored his captain and turned on Talla. "Why does your medical history disappear after ya turn seventeen?"

Talla licked her lips in a nervous sort of way before she answered. "My attending physician pasted away around this time and it proved difficult to find another doctor who would see past old prejudice. I had two friends, though, who knew some things about medicine and they have tended to me for the last five years. Though neither one is as good as She– I mean Doctor Endilev."

"Great, that means I have five years of mandatory hypos to catch ya up on."

"Unfortunately for you, yes you do."

McCoy shot her a glare as he picked up his PADD. "Well, get undressed then. Your physical will be faster, so we'll get that out the way first."

"Yes Sir."

Talla removed her clothing and Kirk and McCoy were pretty sure they were seeing things because her body looked like train tracks, covered in scars and burns. And with her visible ribs and pronounced hip bones sticking out it was…gross, for lack of a better word.

"Christ kid, what happened to ya?"

"Huh, oh," Tall ran a hand down her stomach, tracing a scar, "my previous job. And the fact that 'Ris isn't as good a surgeon as Shel'."

Her face looked pained, as if the conversation was taking a physical toll and everyone couldn't help but notice the slip in (what they assumed was) her doctor's name. And while Kirk didn't want to press (he knew how old wounds stung) he needed to make sure that this girl was a danger to his crew or the Enterprise. "What was your job? And how did you get those wounds."

"I am something akin to an assassin and there have been time in infiltration missions were I was caught. To be assigned an infiltration mission you must be either experienced or powerful. I fall in the second category and most figured that, due to my age. So they kept me alive and tortured me in an attempt to break me and have me work for them. There is no need to fear me as a threat to your ship though, Sir. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get my physical while you pick up my uniform."

Kirk flushed lightly as he and Spock left the room. McCoy then addressed Talla again. "Ok, look Miss P'Trell–"

"Talla."

There was a slight snort. "'Kay, Miss Talla, would you mind if you stop lockin' your muscles in place. I can't test your reflexes if you do that. And I don't want this to be any longer then it has to be."

"Of course, Doctor."

McCoy muttered something under his breath about sarcasm and they went on their way.

When Kirk and Spock finally returned with Talla's new uniform she sat on a bed rubbing her neck and muttering to herself.

Kirk looked over to McCoy, who seemed to be developing a nasty looking burse under his eye, and saw him snarling. "What the hell happened to you, Bones?"

McCoy growled slightly, "Apparently five years worth of hypos is more to deal with then she can deal with."

"I said I was sorry. I had only reacted on instinct because only a lover or future murderer touches the neck on Narza."

"The most efficient way to get what you need into your body is through your neck."

"Well, on Nar–"

"Ok! Both you quiet!" Kirk raised his voice in an attempt to keep someone's blood from spilling. "Now you will each explain what happened, and you will not interrupt the other when they are speaking." He added the last bit when he noticed McCoy open his mouth. "Is that understood?" His voice was stern, inviting no complaints.

"Yes, Sir." Talla responded. McCoy quickly followed suit.

"Well done, Captain." Kirk shot Spock a surprised look at the praise but he was ignored. "The Doctor should be the first to present his case first as he was the one assaulted."

"Right, well came on Bones, what happened?"

"Well, when I finished with Talla's physical I stared on getting the hypo. When I shot her up with the first one she stiffened and became a lit' twitchy. I just thought she didn't like hypos, like you, but as I finished up with the last one she swung at me and gave me this _lovely_–" and dear god was there a lot of venom in that word, "–black eye. Then she went for a second hit but stopped, said she was sorry and went to sit on the bed. You walked in right after."

Kirk turned on Talla and wanted to kick her off his ship but he sucking in his breath and forced himself these next words. "Ok, Miss P'Trell," he noticed the girl stiffen, and no, he didn't get a vindictive satisfaction out that not even a little, "please explain to me why you assaulted my CMO."

"Yes Sir." Kirk was surprised at the levelness in her voice as it was clear she wasn't happy. "As the Doctor so kindly pointed out I became agitated have the first hypo I received. This is in part due to the fact that I know my neck is vulnerable to attacks and also because of some less then…pleasant memories." The girl's jaw tightened slightly before she continued. "After I was compromised enough I attacked the Doctor. Thankfully I came to myself before I could do any real damage."

Kirk had the desire to throw her off his ship, through an eject tube…without oxygen, but he knew he couldn't get away with and he really didn't feel like starting a war over something that seemed to be just a misunderstanding.

"Ok, you and Dr. McCoy can work together on finding an alternative. But you will not, under any circumstance attack a member of my crew unless they are trying to injure you. Is that understood?"

"You're not going to report me?"

"What? No, I mean…Bones, you want press charges?"

McCoy looked at the girl, scrawny, scared, and no doubt nervous over getting in trouble so early. He wasn't mean enough to punish her, and she had _tried _to apologize to him. "Na, just get her the hell out of my sickbay."

"See, no problem." Kirk said, passing Talla her uniform. "Now let's get you dressed so you can get to work. Your shift starts in half-an-hour." He mentally groaned because his shift started then too. And he still hadn't gotten to sleep.

Talla took the red uniform from Kirk but her mouth was open and closing with no sound. It reminded everyone distinctly of a fish.

"Is there any reason why you appear distressed?" Spock asked. He had been (though he'd never admit it) enjoying the interaction between the three but he must admit that Talla's obvious discomfort was curious.

"No, it's just that people with my…employment well, there are…rules and one of them is that you cannot attack a…civilian without a direct order…so I was just…I mean…I…" Talla faltered at the end unsure of how to proceed.

"As you and the Doctor have come to a reasonable understanding it would be illogical to report you in a manner that would hinder you productivity for the ship."

"Okay. Well, I'll just get dressed then." Talla made a hasty retreat, (after putting on her uniform) leaving the three men alone.

Spock turned to McCoy and gave him a questioning glance. "Is there anything unusual to report of Miss Talla?"

"Na. Physically she's fit as a fiddle. Mentally is something else. I mean, Christ, I've never seen someone so jumpy about bein' touch. She had to focus all her energy into not lockin' up her muscles and joints. I had to remind her three times to relax." He jabbed a finger in Kirk's direction. "I thought this idiot was bad," both McCoy and Spock ignored Kirk's spluttered protests and continued, "but I'm pretty sure the kid woulda' had a panic-attack if I had checked the more personal aspects of her body, even with a tricorder. I plan to have Chris do _that_ when she gets here for her shift."

"Fascinating."

Kirk shot Spock a confused look as McCoy glared.

"Fascinating? Really, Spock? Is it even safe for Starfleet to have someone emotionally unstable on my ship?"

"I do not see why not. They have allowed you as captain and McCoy as our CMO haven't they?" His raised eyebrow and slightly quirked lips were the only hints of it being a joke as Spock left the room.

Kirk gaped for a moment before turning to McCoy. "I'm not sure Bones, but I think we were just insulted."

"Oh I know so, Jim. …Now get the hell out of my Sickbay. I've got work to do."

Kirk smirked at his friend and swaggered out of sickbay. He was happy to have been spared any lectures on his heath. Maybe, if he could find time during his shift, he'd come visit him. If only to gloat that he got out of a lecture.

Not that he got to. Nope. Both the Science Department and Scotty decided to try and blow up their respective sides of the ship. Which meant a lot of paper work, all coming from someone he'd rather avoid.

Talla.

He didn't hate her or anything but she had hit his best friend, so of course he had a problem with her.

He was pretty sure the feeling was returned. Although, he didn't have her crated off for hitting his CMO like he could have, so he doubted she would have too many issues with him.

He was right. Like always.

Talla was completely respectful to him and, honestly, she did better work than any of his other Yoeman had so far.

So when shift was finally over, and he'd denied all of Scotty's requests, he made his way down to the mess.

He sat with McCoy and Spock, Uhura was right behind him sitting on Spock's left.

Out of the corner of his eye's Kirk noticed Chekov and Sulu approaching the Enterprise's newest edition. He wasn't surprised, Chekov was the friendliest person on the ship, like a puppy who wanted to please, and Kirk may not have been a mind reader but any moron could see that Sulu was in love with the young navigator.

He was surprised by Talla's reaction though. Her plate dropped (and why was it even in her lap) and the following clang silenced the noisy mass hall.

"I have to go."

The words were whispered as she sprints from the hall.

And, yes, he did have a problem because _THAT_, yeah that wasn't normal, at all. And Chekov looked like he'd just been kicked were it hurt, so getting up and following her made sense, _damn it_! It made sense to figure out what the hell just happened and how to keep it from happening again.

But it didn't make sense to hide when heard her talking to herself or to listen to her ramblings without interrupting but, hey, when as James T. Kirk ever made sense.

"They're not the same person. They're not the same person. They're not. They're not. They're _**NOT! **_But they have the same eyes. The same. Sweet. Needing. _Begging_."

And then a harsh sound reverberated in the corridor and Kirk knows that it should be laughter but it certainly doesn't sound like it to him. It sounds far too familiar paired with memories that he doesn't talk about with even McCoy.

"I wonder if 'Ris is at home. I can Comm him. We can get drunk together. That sounds nice."

Listening to Talla as she walks away he decides that if McCoy can fix him than Kirk can fix her. And Kirk walks away himself, with his single minded determination in place.

Now he just had to figure out how to do it.

* * *

**Hi, hope you all like this. It was kind of nugh to me personally (writing a serious Jim when they aren't all dying is**_** hard!**_**) so your options are greatly appreciated. And yes, there will ****Tarsus angst for Jim. In fact there will be a ridiculous amount of angst for everyone except Chekov, Sulu, Uhura and Scotty. And their happiness is just a maybe.**

**I'm a mean person. Trust me on this.**

**Also, I saw the ten minute preview for the next Trek and movie and it looks amazing! But I will not, EVER, be writing him as the self-destructive douchebag he has apparently become. Spock is one of my favorite characters and I just won't do that.**

**Also, nicknames will come when they get closer to each other. Jim's will be first (because Jim's first at everything).**


	3. Chapter 2: Through Glass

**Chapter 2: Through Glass**

Kirk walked into the mess and, after scanning the present crew, saw his pray. With a smile he set his food in front of her, McCoy close behind him.

"Hey Talla."

"Captain."

"Jim, please. We're off duty. Now, do tell, you've been on my lovely lady for two weeks, how do you like it?"

"It has proven to be an educational and enjoyable expireance, Sir."

"Jim." Kirk repeated, feeling as though he was talking to Spock. "That's all? No friends yet?"

"No Sir, I haven't made any friends on the ship."

Fuck it, he'd work on the name later. "Well, you have me and Bones!"

And, yes, Kirk heard McCoy's huff but the curve in Talla's lips more then made up for the grumpy man's persintant defiance of being friends with the icy alian.

"Thank you, Sir, but I do not believe that the Doctor shares your sentiment."

"Damn right I don't, you're worse then the hobgoblin." McCoy gruffed.

She easily ignored him and turned her head to just beyond Kirk. "Hello Comander, Lieutenant."

"Miss Talla, Captian, Doctor."

Spock nodded his head in each of their directions as Uhura said her own hellos.

"Hey guys, you want to join us?"

Kirk fought a grimace as he said the words. He liked Spock and Uhura and while Talla and Uhura seemed to be headed to a friendship Spock talking her had caused him to question his 'don't believe in no-win scenarios' idea.

And the two, of course, took him up on his offer. Spock took his right while Uhura took up Talla's left.

Uhura took a breath before turning to Talla. "Hey, Talla, I was wondering about a word I came across in Narzan. It doesn't seem to have a translation and I was curious as to what it meant because it seems important."

"I'll help if I can. So what's the word?"

"La'nez're."

And everyone at the table noticed Talla's ever-so-slight stiffen.

"La'nez're, direct translation wise, means bond. A more accurate word in Standered would be soulmate."

"Fascinating. Your people are known for their scientific developments so how is it the Narzan find emotional dependences, like a La'nez're?"

Kirk totally didn't expect Spock to be intreated in this topic.

He also didn't expect Talla's sigh, as though she realized that she wasn't getting away from this conversation.

"There are telepaths on my plant who can read the waves the mind gives off. People whose mind-waves are mirror opposits and fit together perfectly are La'nez're."

"That's it?" Uhura asked, she sounded disapointed.

Talla made a face.

"There's more to it then that. This person is your complament. For an extremist it has someone to keep them from getting themselves killed and for an introvert it helps the person creates contacts both personally and professonally.

"They also understand you instinctively. When something hurts to the point of self-blame and lothing they can and will fix it. They are everything! There will never be another person like them. And losing them leaves a gapping hole because they are your other half."

They were all silent for a moment because, so far, only McCoy had seen Talla get worked-up and that had been anger and fear, not this deep underlining passion.

Spock was the one to talk. "You speak as though you have had first-hand experance."

There's a fraction of a second were Talla was so still that she didn't seem to be breathing and then her stiff exterior crumbled.

It was a starling difference, hard jaded eyes turned world-weary and old. Straight and neutral lips turned down and perfect posture slumped forward as though the world rested on her shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah I guess I am."

"Really?" Uhura sounded excited now. "What's his name? What was he like and how did he complement your personality? And why are you here and not with him?"

"She, on Narza mind has always mattered more than body. And she was the kindest most caring person I have ever met. She dedicated her life to helping others and always gave people the benefit of the doubt. Even when they had proven that they didn't deserve it. She also showed me that I'm more than what others think. She taught me right from wrong but still reminded me that it's not all my fault."

Talla's quiet as she runs her fingers over the leather glove on her right hand and then her face twisted for a second, reminding Kirk of the moment in Sick Bay, when she spoke of Shel' and 'Ris.

"I am not with her right now because she is dead."

The words were flat and Kirk shivered. He knew better than most that trying to separate yourself from the pain never worked.

"Is she your doctor?"

Everyone turned to McCoy and Talla's expression grew trapped.

"Yes, Sir, my La'nez're was my doctor." There's a pause as Talla licked her lips and put her shield back up. And even Spock felt his heart ache a bit. "I apologize but it seems I have lost my appetite. If you will excuse me."

She's moving away before they could say anything and out the mess hall doors before Kirk could protest.

It was silent for a moment and then McCoy said, "Fine, I'll help."

And Kirk smiled at his friend, even while wishing that the girl wasn't so broken that he needed help.

His eyes drifted over the others two at the table and paused on Uhura. "Hey, Uhura, I was wondering whether or not you could do me a favor?"

Uhura stared at him for a second before a feral grin settled on her face.

**XOXOXO**

Talla was walking to her room when Uhura, Chapel, and Rand herded her towards one of their rooms.

She attempted protest but they brushed her off. Stating it was unimportant or creating alternatives solutions.

Finally, when they had settled into, what was apparently, Chapel's room she asked why they wanted her.

They responded with, "We're having a girl's night!"

"Huh?"

"Well," Uhura started, "you've been here a week of us has had the chance to really talk to you, so we'll be using this night to tell you about ourselves while–"

"–You tell us about yourself." Rand interrupted, earning her a look from Uhura, which she pointedly ignored.

Chapel sighed at the by-play and glanced at Talla. "We'll start, of course. So it's easier for you tell us about yourself."

Talla nodded, not sure what to say. She supposed that the smile Chapel wore was meant to sooth her but it doesn't help. She has no desire to speak about her past and there's no doubt in her mind that if they had any clue what it was like that they wouldn't want to hear it.

Uhura started, unsurprisingly enough. The woman reminded her of fire. Drawing in other attention but keeping them at a distance. She wounded what 'Hamal would think of her.

Talla's eyes drift to Chapel next. And ice is the first thing that popped into her mind. Sleek and eye catching but no one dares gets to close.

Rand was next and earth was what came to mind. Natural, inviting, warm and oh so welcoming.

Chapel's speaking when she could no longer help herself.

"Elements."

Chapel looked up from her monologue to raise a questioning eyebrow. It reminded Talla of McCoy.

She shrugged her shoulders and pointed at Uhura. "Fire. So shockingly beautiful, but still a raging mass of destructiveness that can put men to their knees."

She seemed oddly proud as Talla moved onto Chapel. "Ice. Breathing-taking, sleek, and calm. But so cold that men run."

Her eyes stopped on Rand. "Earth. A natural beauty and calming to the soul. So welcoming and warm to strangers."

"Then what are you?" A voice behind her asked.

Talla tenses, cursing herself for not noticing the door opening. She was relaxing too much.

Green and red slipped into her vision, settling easily on Uhura's right. She smiled, obviously waiting for a response.

"I'm not anything. I'm rather plain on my plant." Shel' would have been something though. Exotic with her dark hair and eyes in the sea of pale and pastel.

"That makes you air then. You're ignored till you're angry and then you are a sight to behold."

She looked proud of herself for a moment and then she held out her hand. "I'm Gaila by the way."

Talla glanced at the hand but didn't take it. "Hello."

The other woman appeared dejected for a moment but recovered quickly enough. "Since we're naming elements here, what exactly am I?"

Talla took in the other women. Free-formed, flowing, bight and… "Water."

There's a raised eyebrow. "Gorgeous, flowing, and pleasant but no doubt deadly when pushed right."

Gaila's face lit up right before she hurled herself at Talla, taking her in a hug. "We are so keeping you."

Both Uhura and Chapel snickered at their friend's action but Rand noticed the shaking of Talla's arms.

"I think you should let her go Gaila."

"But Janice I–"

"–She shaking."

Gaila pulled back and noticed how stiff Talla was. "I'm sorry. I–"

"–It," Talla interrupted, "is not your fault. I am not used to hugs, is all."

Gaila smiled, distantly remembering how she reacted to touch when she first got to Earth. "I'll just have to build you up then." She stated as she laid herself across Talla's lap.

There's a raised eyebrow that makes Gaila think of Mr. Spock.

"I suppose so."

Gaila smiled and continued the conversation.

They get throw the next hour and a half easily enough, (Rand and Gaila redirecting the conversation and time it hit Talla to close to home) when the comm rang.

Chapel read the name aloud, stumbling over it. "Thoris th'Zarath?"

Talla was at the comm after the first word. "A friend of mine from Narza but I didn't…" She trailed off curiously.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you but I had all your calls forward here in case you had an emergency." Gaila said, scratching her head bashfully.

Talla humped, and answered the call. There was screaming, more like rant, in Narzarn. "'Ris, we have visitors."

'Ris paused and glanced at the four other woman. "Who."

"Co-workers. We are having a girl's night." Talla made a face, because the words still sounded foreign on her lips. "Now, what ar–"

She didn't finish the question before there was laughter. It's a minute before it settled down. "You of all people on a girl's night. God, I needed that laugh after today. Thanks."

The _Enterprise_ girls were anxious to know what's going on but Talla just raised an eyebrow and waited.

"The Royal Court wants 'Hamal to marry Shen'. Nobility and political big-shots togetherness and all that. Plus caring on her line."

Every noticed the fact Talla went rim-rod straight at the name Shen'. "And?" There's something dangerous about the way the word came out. And even Gaila and 'Ris looked uncomfortable.

"I'm marrying her instead."

"But…"

"She's not my first chose but she's a good friend. And if the Court wants to say something we still have 'Lin. And he has to have nobility in his blood. I'm only calling because I figured you want to know."

"Yeah."

The line disconnects with 'Ris telling them all to be safe. The girls watched her as she stood up and crossed the room.

"Is it alright if I leave early? We can sit together in the Mess if you want."

Uhura looked as if she was going to protest but Gaila jumped in first. "No problem. See you tomorrow."

"Thank you."

As Talla walked to her room she decided that if the Court was going to play dirty then so could she.

**XOXOXO**

**Sorry this took so long. I've been really sick. Sorry.**

**Okay. So Gaila, there is no proof she's dead in cannon so for this fic I'm gonna work under the assumption that she is alive. Both she and Rand will be important to opening Talla up. **


End file.
